Girl Dumps Boy, Boy Cuts Off Penis

Some people make bad life choices after a breakup: some rebound and sleep with someone their BFF told them to avoid. Some heal their pain with good old Jack Daniels and others turn to food. But one man from Macedonia took his breakup way too hard after his girlfriend dumped his ass.

The Telegraph reports Oliver Llic, 22, decided to cut his own penis off after his girlfriend ended their relationship and criticized the way he had sex with her.

After the bad news was delivered, Llic grabbed a razor blade and sliced it right off, which, of course, ended up in a lot of blood all over the place, so much so that the young man had to call for help. Emergency services then brought Llic to the hospital but found his severed penis in the trash.

Llic was transferred to a different hospital in Macedonia's capital Skopje and he underwent a five-hour procedure in hopes of reattaching his missing Johnson.

According to doctors, it is currently too early to know if Llic's now reattached penis will be able to function fully again.

The news comes just days after it was reported that rapper Andre Johnson, aka Christ Bearer, is now pursing a career in stand up after chopping off his own penis earlier this year.

And of course, he's telling dick-cutting jokes:

"One time I heard voices," he told a quiet audience during his set. "The voices told me, 'Cut your dick off.' I said, 'What?!' 'You heard me, cut your dick off."

Though there was very little laughter, he continued: "So I did."

"Folks, I don't care how high you get, once you chop off your penis, you're still broke," Johnson said. "So, I just jumped out the window. Fuck it."

He then says he woke up wanting the authorities to find his missing penis.

"You can't be black, broke and no dick! That's like being white with bad credit, right?"

There was only nervous chuckling.