California ad campaign highlights gay fathers

Bus stops and airways across Southern California feature portraits of gay families this month as part of a campaign designed to encourage and de-stigmatize gay parenting.

Launched by the Pop Luck Club, a Los Angeles-based support group for gay fathers, the campaign includes public service announcements and ads featuring gay families under the words "Raise a Child."

The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law estimated 270,313 children were living in same-sex parented households in the United States as of 2005.

A 2007 report by the Williams Institute and Urban Institute found gay parents are raising 65,500 adopted children, accounting for four percent of all adopted children in the United States, with more than 16,000 in California alone. Three percent of foster children are living in gay-parented households.

And although 2 million LGBT people are interested in adopting, less than one-fifth of adoption agencies recruit them.

"We make lunches for our kids, get them to music and karate lessons... just like every family," said Pop Luck Club Co-President Richard Valenza. "With this campaign, we are putting a real face on gay parenting."

The Pop Luck Club connects SoCal gay fathers and their children at monthly potlucks and online, where members exchange parenting advice. The club has grown to 500 members since it began in 1998. And it has become known as a resource for gay families and prospective parents.

"I'm very aware that it will be important for [my daughter] as she grows up to know there are lots of other kids in the same situation," said board member John Ireland, who chose adoption with his husband after joining the club. "Even at age five, kids in gay families are quite aware of society's greater discussion about us. Proposition 8, for instance, was a fairly significant bump in the road for a lot of us as parents helping our kids to develop healthy self esteem; it was a pretty direct attack on gay families."

In metropolitan Los Angeles, Pop Luck Club families are often received positively, but not without some inquisitive glances. Ireland recalled one instance when passersby shouted "So it's Mom's day off?" to which he lightheartedly replied, "Everyday is Mom's day off!"

Gay fathers sometimes face questions from those who assume they don't know the basics of raising a child.

"When it comes to parenting, all dads have had the experience of people assuming that they don't know what they're doing when it comes to changing a diaper or burping a baby," explained.

Ru Stevens-Ortiz and his partner Miguel hoist three-year-old Ru, Jr., on their shoulders in one ad. The men actually have triplets, but couldn't get them all to look into the camera at the photo shoot.

"I was so concerned about how people would react to us once we got pregnant and it was going to become a reality," said Ru. "We were hesitant to even go out to the store together."

But the reaction to his family has been positive, if not adoring.

"We want to reach more people through this campaign to show that we have a loving family and that we just want to be treated equally," added Ru. "[We want] for people to see that we're out there and we're normal people contributing to society and we're raising healthy, loving and thoughtful kids that hopefully will contribute to society too."

Ru said the club was invaluable in helping make fatherhood for him and Miguel a reality.

"We were able to see all of the alternatives available - adoption, surrogacy, fostering, co-parenting - it was just nice to be able to talk to dads who had gone through it to see what would work best for us."

The campaign has gained positive attention so far, from new club members, to a gay baby boomer giving kudos to a group he wished was around when he was raising his child.

The United States Children's Bureau estimates roughly 185,000 children around the country await adoption. With thousands of them in Los Angeles County, Ireland hopes the campaign will open a dialogue and change attitudes about gay adoption.

"There's a societal imperative that we have this conversation," he said. "We're a great resource to a societal issue of finding loving, supportive homes for kids."

Log onto PopLuckClub.org for more information.